The rain that fell that day seemed to completely wash away life’s most trying moments. Sitting with her, watching the rain cascade down the windshield, feeling her presence, feeling her shine, a burst of light through the warship grey, a universe in her eyes and all its secrets answered in the warmth of her smile.
He often wondered how she would react to the way he feels about her. For years he’d kept silent, afraid the love he has for her would repel her. A silly thing to worry about, but these days there’s no room for those who feel anything about anyone, and all the important things in life often get swept into the trash heap of negativity, mindless chest beating, and a game of spiritual hopscotch, each person taking their turn to throw their piece and desperately trying not to topple over onto the pavement.
But across the years, he’d gotten to know her heart and he is struck dumb by how precious it is. Not many hearts like her’s out there, and he’s often mute, amazed such a beautiful soul exists in a world of pettiness and mindlessness. He will forever be grateful, for this soul of her’s touched his life, allowing him to see there are beautiful things in this world, and it gives one hope in a time of utter hopelessness.
And as the rain continues to fall, he holds her close and feels her shine through him, a burst of light, illuminating him, oblivious to a world in which this simple act of affection can often tear up the foundations, for love is something to fear and and is dare not acknowledged. But she holds him, too, and strokes his hands — gentle like her soul, gentle like her heart, and it’s okay.
Sometimes he feels stupid — or acts stupid — but this is only because to have something so precious in your life is rare, and he will never want to lose what he has with her, this connection is a blessing, a gift. These two days he’s spent with her were the happiest he’s had in a long time, and with each passing moment, he realizes there are a lot of things in this world which are meaningless and true meaning in this life is to connect with those beautiful souls who make this life more bearable.
But when he left you, and started off home, he immediately felt heartsick, and although he had only just left, he misses you terribly. Five minutes feels like five years. He has no expectations, only has hope that she will forever be a part of his life. The world will forever be a beautiful place so long as she’s in it.
New York City, April 1997